Relationships in Life                                                    by Erik Bohlin, M.A.

What is it to have life?  What is it to live.  To really live.  How do we know we are living?  Part of every life is about relationship.  Do we ever really exist apart from a relationship of some sort.  Even when we appear to be alone, we are with ourselves and with God.  Really, when all is said and done, and we are ready to leave this life, what will we bring with  us?  Will it be an education, a job, money, possessions, housing?  Or will it be relationships—relationship with God, ourselves, others, loved ones.

What makes a relationship.  We can see a relationship as a thing, something we own.  Or is it as something we do.  I relate with you.

How does it feel to say:

1)   I have a relationship with you. (or)

2)   I relate with you. 

The latter is more living, more active. 

How are these statements different.

            1)  I relate with you.

            2)  I relate to you.

What are relationships?  What do they feel like?  How do we establish them?  What are they are made of?.  How do they grow?  How are they stifled?  How are they are healthy?  What makes them unhealthy?

What does it mean to relate?

Something in common.  I relate with you.  Does it take at least two to have a relationship or will one suffice? 

A relationship with self. 

Different levels of thinking about the relationship.

Let’s look at an infant.  An infant experiences and needs a relationship.  Can the baby step outside the relationship to know that they are having a relationship?  How many relationships can a baby have?  What is the age that we can begin to know that we have a relationship?

What are the characteristics of a relationship?

What do you need to have relationship?

Ñ    Involve people. . Animals. . Living things, relationship with plants?  I suppose if watering, planting. 

Ñ    They have a beginning and sometimes they can end.  They are living.

Ñ    There are a least two parts to relating.  One part relates with/to the other part.  Even within our selves, we may have one part that wants one thing and another part that wants another.  We relate with ourselves, implies that one part can impact the other part.

I love myself.                                                    I love you.

I take care of myself.                                        I care for you.              

I understand myself.                                          I seek to understand you.

I nurture myself.                                                I nurture you.

I challenge myself.                                             I can challenge you.

I run myself ragged.                                          I can run your life.

I criticize myself.                                               I criticize you.

I am hard on myself.                                         I am hard on you.

One part can take care of another part.  Or even abuse a part of us.  We are trained from birth to either nurture ourselves or abuse ourselves.  

Ñ    Our family sets the tone for how we relate to ourselves.  How we see ourselves is affected by how are family sees.  How are friends sees us.  How God sees us.  Life experience tends to teach us how we are.  Or at least how we think we are.